The Overlooked Sin
by Maranatha Chapman
I
have often been asked what my biggest struggle in life has been, or what
is my greatest weakness. I never even have to think about the answer because
the word "fear" immediately comes to mind and rolls off of my tongue.
For as long as I can remember, I have always had a propensity toward fear.
As a young girl, I had continuous nightmares, anxious thoughts, and many
times I would be completely paralyzed by my fear. I would hide in the
closet during thunderstorms, I would always close my eyes and grit my
teeth going across a simple bridge, and do many other things such as these.
My
parents took my problem seriously and worked and prayed with me often.
Over time, the Lord worked in my life to free me from my bondage to fear
and, as part of the process, I began to see where I was making choices
to give my heart over to fear. It was a daily struggle, but, by His grace,
fear was definitely loosing its grip on my heart. The nightmares, the
parade of anxious thoughts, and the continual worries finally stopped.
This didn't happen because I read some certain scripture 10 times before
going to bed. I didn't use positive thinking or confession methods. Circumstances
in my life didn't change so that there was nothing to be scared of anymore.
What happened was that when I sensed myself getting fearful, I learned
to move over to another place. In my heart,
I moved from fear over
to faith. I moved over to trusting my sweet
Lord.
The
Lord says "whatever is not from faith is sin" (Rom. 14:23). This is a
very high standard, and He has had me embrace time and time again that
my being fearful, anxious, worried, or scared, is not okay because
I am not being of faith or walking by faith. Many times I think Christians
fail to put fear in the "sin" category, in accordance with this scripture.
We make our excuses and overlook the fact that the Lord views our walking
in fear as sin. We say, "I just cannot help but be scared,"
or "Oh well, I'm just a worrier," as if such things should be accepted
as normal and acceptable for those who belong to Jesus. We would be horrified
if someone said, "I just cannot help but be immoral," or "Oh well, I'm
just a liar." But if sin is sin, can you see how we want to put fear into
a different category?
We
think of fear as a "natural response," and yes, in our flesh, it is an
immediate reaction to many things in life. We cannot help being tempted
with fear, but we have a clear choice whether or not we
go with the temptation and, in doing so, move
over into sin (James 1:12-16). The Lord has not called us to live as "mere
men," He has called us to something higher-to live and walk as set apart,
believing sons and daughters of God. When we entertain fears and worry
and sort through numerous hypothetical scenarios, we are not believing
and trusting the Lord (cf. Matt. 6:24-34, 10:19-20). In addition, once
we open and yield our hearts to fear, the road we then begin traveling
seldom ends with our simply fearing whatever it is in a particular moment,
but it leads to successive choices based upon our fear that bring about
further sin and death.
For
example, have you ever been fearful about how your husband was leading
you, and you started trying to control and manipulate him or the situation?
Controlling doesn't have to be an outright taking of the lead and dominating
by strength, words, harshness, or aggression. We ladies also try to control
at times by pouting, withdrawing, being defensive, playing the martyr's
role, being self-righteous, and/or sweetly preaching. I really believe
fear is the major driving force behind our efforts to control and manipulate,
and thus lead (cf. 1 Pet. 3:6). It could be fear of "loss of life," fear
of not being taken care of, fear of others and what they think, and on
and on. The point here is that our giving ourselves to fear leads to such
actions, all of which are sin.
Another
door that gets opened when we let our hearts go to fear is that we go
to unbelief, which is distrusting God. We start throwing away God's promises
that He will always take care of us, never leave us, etc. This
is a big deal! To not trust our Father is sin. The children
of Israel were not able to enter the Promised Land because of their
unbelief, which the Lord said was the result of them "always
going astray in their heart" (Heb. 3:7-19). The scriptures, referring
to this, say that "these things happened to them as examples for us, and
were written for our instruction." (1 Cor. 10:1-13). But yet we sort of
feel sorry for one another, and patronize one another, and say, "That's
okay, you're in a tough situation. I think I would worry too." No! We
can certainly have compassion for one another when going through trials
and difficulties, but when we see that we have given ourselves over to
fear and are no longer trusting the Lord, we need to call one another
to faith, and encourage each other to quickly turn to the Lord and cling
to who He is and what He has said and done. I would like to give an example
of this from my own life that happened during a very
difficult time for me...
One
of the hardest trials I have ever endured was when I was in labor for
32 hours with our third child. What made this so hard is that I was stuck
in transition-dilated to 9 centimeters with minute-long contractions every
two minutes-for nine hours! It really was like torture.
I called out to the Lord over and over saying, "Lord, please deliver me,
I cannot do this anymore," and then another hour would pass. Finally our
precious Kindle Adriel was born and it was over, but my heart latched
onto something the midwife said right after the birth: "Maranatha, your
body just has a very hard time giving birth, and you will probably always
have these prolonged hard labors." I soon went to despair and unbelief
in relation to giving birth to future children. For the first nine months
of Kindle's life, I couldn't hear words like labor, dilation, contractions,
and cervix, without feeling physically sick. A number of people around
me consoled me to the point of affirming that my fear was both understandable
and justified, which, I confess is exactly what I wanted to hear at that
time.
One
night, my sweet husband, Matthew, helped me discover where I had moved
over into fear and unbelief in my heart. It was when I
heard the midwife's words and I decided that
they were true, and thus the dread of future child birth engulfed my heart
and mind. My decision that this was indeed
the truth left no room for the Lord to work or move or change things,
which is why I landed myself in unbelief. I cried out to the Lord and
confessed my sin, turning wholeheartedly from what I had to face was a
refusal to trust the Lord in this area. I renewed my heart and mind to
the reality that, despite my circumstances, He had never left me alone.
As my heart changed, I began saying, "Lord, You love me and have never
left me alone. Lord, I trust You and I let go of my fear. Lord, You are
bigger than anything! Lord, You are faithful!" My long ordeal ended that
night, and I have never picked up this fear again-and I have even been
in labor since then (only 7 hours of total labor with our fourth child,
by the way!).
Ladies,
as our eyes are fixed on Jesus and eternal things, we will
not fear. We do not have to fear death (Heb. 2:14-15, 13:5-6)!
The Lord has made a way for us to abide in His big, loving, safe arms,
and nothing can harm us but what He allows. Do you trust Him with your
life, your children, your husband, your home, your husband's work, money,
relatives, and your future? I have also found that many times when I see
fear in my heart, I'm holding onto something of this earth that I need
to die to. It could be having a good reputation, feeling a sense of earthly
security, acquiring or maintaining wealth, avoiding loss or pain, having
the perfect home, or even clinging to what is familiar. The Lord has called
us to die daily and entrust ourselves completely to Him. If you continually
embrace this reality and let go of everything you're trying to hold onto,
you will find that He is not only more than enough, but, in Him, there
is nothing to fear either!
Here
are several practical things that can help you. When you see that you
have let your heart go to fear, do business with God until you move
over in your heart to faith. And do this no matter how
often and no matter how long it takes. It may help to ask yourself these
questions: What is "the bottom line" of what I am fearing? What is the
worst thing that can happen in this situation? Is the Lord big enough
to handle it? Is there anything I'm listening to that is encouraging me
to fear? Are any of my relationships, or things I am reading (magazines,
books, newspapers), or other media influences I am taking in that is feeding
my fear? Where is my "jumping off place," or the specific place of my
heart I am needing to in trust the Lord with? What is the specific issue
I need to actively choose to trust the Lord in and go forward? The Holy
Spirit will use our honest answers to such questions to help us see where
we are off and how to return to believing and trusting in Him.
Kindling Publications
6303 CR 233
Tyler, Texas 75707-3147
USA
www.KindlingPublications.com