Heart Hospitality
by Maranatha Chapman
Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.
Be hospitable to one another without complaint. (1 Peter 4:7-8)
Our
physical homes are many times the only "home" we ever think of. But it
is good to remember and stay aware of the fact that we also "make a place"
for others to be with our hearts. Are you a
welcoming person? Do others feel loved by you because that is what is
genuinely flowing from you? Are you a safe place? It's true that our homes
are an expression of us and that through maintaining a well-kept home
we can serve and minister to others, but it is vital that we recognize
our hearts' role in this ministry.
Receiving
people into our homes in order to serve and bless them is an incredible
honor. Having a warm and peaceful environment is so crucial, but how you
are is even more important. We have all been to the "perfect"
home before that had immaculate place settings, sparkling clean kitchen,
gourmet food, oodles of candles, and where, from the moment you walked
in the door, you were "served." But when you leave and go home, you do
not feel like Jesus was there or like you ever connected with the one
who was "serving" you. The question I would present to you is: were you
truly being served in the way the Lord meant when He encouraged us to
love, be hospitable, lay down our lives, take people in, and wash the
saint's feet (Rom. 12:10-15, 1 Tim.5:10) or was it merely looking-good-on-the-outside-hospitality
according to Emily Post?
So
many times when we hear about being hospitable, we only think of making
an impressive dish or making sure our house is clean. Does a clean house
minister love? Sure it does. Does a yummy dinner bless your guests? Of
course! But if that is all there is, then we are seriously missing the
point. If we are being "worried and bothered about so many things" (Luke
10:38-42), then we are probably not really being attentive to those we
are trying to serve.
When
we have people into our homes we want to give them Jesus and demonstrate
His love. Busyness will only get in the way of that goal. When we have
people over, I intentionally try to keep the meal simple. There are several
reasons for this, but the biggest is that I do not want that the meal
be the focus. Someone being impressed with my cooking ability or trying
out my new recipe should not be my reason for inviting someone for dinner.
My only goal should be to bring glory to my Lord, and provide a place
for fellowship around Him. Let's get even more specific.
Prepare ahead of time so as to keep the practical side of things flowing
well. When people are coming to our home, I try to not have
a lot of last minute things to do. I take care of any cleaning or cooking
that needs to be done earlier in the day. This takes careful planning,
but it can make the difference in your time being more fruitful for the
kingdom of God. Wow!! How can something so practical affect something
of eternal weight? If you are busy, running around frantic, or just preoccupied,
the atmosphere of you home will be unsettled and you will not be an open
vessel for Jesus to flow through. Another part of preparation involves
considering and praying for the person or family coming over. I even bring
my children in on this and we talk about ways we can serve them. Typically,
by the time they arrive, our hearts are then ready to pour out. Also,
as Jesus fills your heart with His love for whomever you are serving,
ask Him to give you practical ways to love and show that you have been
considering them. When our hearts and our goals are right place, then
candles, scripture name cards, and someone's favorite dish can truly be
a blessing instead of a cheap, hollow counterfeit.
Make sure cleaning-up doesn't end up taking time away from
fellowship. Have a plan for when dinner is over. You can
clear off a few things to soak and do the rest when your guests leave,
or have some of your children do it, or have dinner geared to be finger
food and paper plates. Countless times I have witnessed women retreating
to their kitchen and insisting that they do not want any help, thinking
this is part of being hospitable, and then they are not seen for another
hour. Others take the help, but they are so focused on cleaning there
is still no interaction. I have wondered many times if women do this to
"hide." It takes sacrifice, vulnerability, and energy to engage someone
else on a deeper level. Ask yourself: these questions: Are you willing
to be poured out? Are you willing to spend the last little bit of energy
you have at the end of your day to simply love? Are you willing to do
whatever it takes to really be attentive (even emotionally and spiritually)
to the ones you are serving?
Make a place for the Lord. Jesus said, ".where
two or three have gathered together in My Name, I am there in their midst"
(Matt. 18:20). At every turn, bring the Lord Jesus into your conversations
and partake of Him together, making Him the reason you have gathered.
Whenever possible redirect "empty chatter" or shallow talking, and don't
ever allow gossip in your midst. It is so easy to join with others around
a common enemy or to have fleshly comradery around any number of subjects
or things. "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow.
You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes
away" (James 4:14). I think if we really understood how little time
we have on this earth, we would not waste so many opportunities that could
be used for glorifying the Lord. "Therefore be careful how you walk,
not as unwise men, but as wise, making the most of your time, because
the days are evil" (Eph 5:15-16). We ask questions like, "Tell us
about what the Lord has been doing in your life" or "What is something
the Lord is teaching you?" We also turn the direction of normal talk toward
Jesus and His ways. But one secret here is that if you are not abiding
in Jesus yourself, and He is not your life in "normal life," then all
your attempts at having Jesus as the center when being hospitable will
be extremely difficult, if not hollow, religious sounding, and hypocritical.
Lay down your life! Jesus is The Example for
us in how we should love. He poured out in a way that held nothing back.
Go the extra mile. Love when it is not easy to serve. Listen even when
you are worn out or not interested. Above all, consider the needs of others
as more important than your own (Phil. 2:3-4). Ask the Lord to help you
develop an eye for seeing the needs of others. If you have a young family
over, help them with their fussy baby, or engage their little ones, or
just be a listening ear who can "stay with them" despite the distractions.
You can end up being a great source of comfort and help, and, more importantly,
a vessel for Jesus' love to flow through. It is not enough to just make
dinner or even smile pleasantly. We have to give ourselves,
not just enduring what is being said, but genuinely listening, and not
just serving with our hands, but with our whole hearts.
Kindling Publications
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Tyler, Texas 75707-3147
USA
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