Enjoying “Chores”

By Maranatha Chapman

It sounds great to be able to enjoy “doing chores” but something doesn't quite fit, does it? Well, I think we need to change how we view work in our home. Let's stop calling each of these ongoing jobs a “chore.” To do so says, “Ugh, let's get this done.” A “chore” implies a difficult task that surely no one wants to do. Sisters, our Lord has made a way for us to fully embrace and enjoy keeping house (Titus 2:3-5, 1 Tim. 5:14-15). He has put it within us, we just have a hard time finding it and continuing with it because we have believed the world's lies of feminism and most of us have never had examples of women who truly enjoy functioning in their home. You see, the enemy has been engaged in a big plot since the beginning of time to thwart women from living godly and cooperating with our call as wives and mothers. Let's say “No!” to Satan's scheme and quit cooperating with his plan by instead saying “Yes!” to God and His plan (Eph.6:11). Full surrender to the Lord always results in life, abundant life. Do you know He has made you to follow Him and His way? It's in you if you are born of His Spirit. Do you believe Him that there is tremendous grace that comes with His call to be a worker at home? Will you step out and trust Him and actively thank Him for getting to be at home and serve your family?

I was recently in a situation where I was surrounded by homeschooling mamas. I heard two speakers make comments about “wanting to kill their children” sometimes or “wanting to wring their kid's necks.” Lots of laughter rang out every time a derogatory comment was made about the hassle of our children, needing our own space, hating housework, and a general attitude of going crazy being at home all day. Yes, I am aware that it was all in jest, but I was so incredibly grieved. First of all, because there were children in the room watching and listening to an entire audience agree with how hard and miserable this job can be. Secondly, I was grieved because what was being imparted by the speaker to mothers who had come there for encouragement was a complaining attitude that didn't believe the Lord and His sovereign way. I also heard it said from numerous women, including the speakers, that when the husbands get home they sigh in relief and say, “Your turn—I'm done,” and this was not told as a joke. It has become widely accepted that we're owed something and that “those men better help with the house cause' I'm worn out.” Our husbands work very hard and don't need to be “guilted” or coerced into treating us like “goddesses.” Does my husband jump in and help? Of course. He's precious! But I do not have a gun to his head, tapping my foot, expecting him to do my job. I'm created to be his helper, not the other way around (1 Cor. 11:7-9, Gen. 2:18-25). Again, let's break free from feminism. You will never feel “met,” fulfilled, or loved by what you get through demanding, complaining, and belly-aching.

How to Stop Doing a “Chore”

Along with turning our hearts to the Lord and renewing our minds to what is truth in Him, it also really helps to change how we do something and why we're doing it.

1. Make it more fun! I've found that some jobs can be made easier to enjoy if a few twists were added. Here are some ideas to help you move from “the drudgery of the dreaded chores” to finding joy in your work at home. Some of these ideas are also helpful in training your children to relate to the jobs around the house that they are responsible for.

Now you brainstorm and come up with your own ideas. Find a problem area and ask your entire family for their ideas. It will be fun to talk about.

 

2. Come from a place of serving. What rich enjoyment we can have by laying our lives down and serving our families.

Whole-Hearted Work

Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men. (Colossians 3:23)

 

Before we look at the “work” aspect of this, we need to be transformed into whole-hearted people in the way that we approach all of life. Are you someone that would be considered “whole-hearted”? Ask yourself these questions and answer as honestly as you can. Get someone else's input if it would be helpful.

Most people would say that being whole-hearted is a matter of what type of personality you have, but the Lord calls us to give Him everything, holding nothing back (Rev. 3:15-16). The Lord is whole-hearted and our being so is one of the ways that we correspond to Him. Consider also the story about “the rich young ruler” in Mark 10:21. We can see here that Jesus wanted his whole heart (all), and was content to let him walk away “saddened” and “grieving” rather than allow him to continue following Him with divided loyalties and a half-hearted devotion that was held captive to his abundance of earth stuff. Cry out to God and ask Him to reveal all areas where you have a stagnancy of heart, and then be willing to change. But I must warn you—it will cost you your life. Our sweet Lord wants all.

Now, how does all this apply to whole-hearted work? If you have not grown the capacity for “giving it everything” or engaging & applying your whole self, then you are going to have difficulty when it comes to “whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord” (Col.3:23). The root problem is that other things have our hearts. For you to serve your family by working whole-heartedly as unto the Lord, you will have to die to yourself and completely focus everything on that service. If you are looking for a way out or watching the clock while you are working to see how quickly you can get away from it, then your heart is not in what you are doing. Also, if your heart is not in it, then everything will seem to take longer and feel draining, and you will hate whatever you are doing. Instead, let's be completely whole-hearted in every job in front of us, putting our whole self to the task. When it's time to clean the kitchen after dinner, give yourself to it. Do not resist it or resent it. Do not put it off. And do not bellyache! When there is a long, tedious job to do, don't half-heartedly give it your attention. Instead, give it your very best (“as for the Lord”) and there will inevitably be grace and even enjoyment.

Dealing with Perfectionism

When is it good enough? Some of you don't deal with this but the ones of you who do know who you are. Life for you is about doing everything right. There is only one way to do things—your way—and you are driven and can't rest until everything is perfect (your kind of perfect). Hear me say this: You have to die!!! Jesus cannot fill “driven.” Your family will suffer, if perfection is your goal. Remember, what is our goal? LOVE! (1 Tim. 1:5). Anything else will hinder, corrupt, tear down, and simply not work. Being a worker at home requires us to keep it all moving all of the time. So in order to “have our hands” on everything, we have to recognize when each task has had enough attention and is satisfactorily completed and good enough. We have to be realistic about our time in relation to our overall duties and not waste time doing overkill on specific items.

Maintaining a Kept Home

Being a “keeper” of the home implies a continued action of carrying the responsibility for it. I know when I first got married 20 years ago, I was terrible about waiting until the housework was “screaming” and then I would finally “blitz it.” I was not at all trained in my growing up years to “keep” things clean or do maintenance cleaning and this lack carried over into my own home as a newlywed. When it reached the point of dirty or cluttered, then I would spend all day “cleaning house” and have the expectation that it would stay that way. It was so discouraging a week or so later when everything started not looking so sparkly or organized. Then I allowed another week to pass and things would really get out of sorts and the “nasties” would start to set in. I would blitz the house again, and the whole cycle started over. It took discipline (a word that some of us fight) to begin putting things away promptly and to clean everyday. I soon began to find it was so much easier to do and more enjoyable too. And guess what? In time, my home stayed clean as opposed to the “clean every once in a while” routine. My home has never been perfect but it now feels peaceful and kept.

Like with so many other things, it's not until you make the lifestyle changes that you see the real results happen. Think about the person who wants to lose weight. The only way for them to see lasting results is for them to make real lifestyle changes. Think about it. You can diet for six months and lose 20 pounds, but the moment you go back to the cheeseburgers and fries you are going to gain it all back. You can't eat junk all week and then spend a couple of days fasting and see any change. How many of us know this cycle well? Maintaining healthy eating habits is the only way to keep excess weight off. The key word here is “keep”—meaning “to follow or adhere to and to go on maintaining” (Webster). Praise God! He set it up this way. Living on a “roller coaster diet” or stuck in the “messy to immaculate house” cycle is not His way. The Lord doesn't want us to live life by reacting (impulsive, fleshly responding). He wants us steady and consistent.

Our homes and our habits will reflect what is going on in our hearts. The Lord's way is never (a) to procrastinate, then (b) find motivation, then (c) make a huge change for the day, and then (d) start the cycle all over again. When I embraced His desire for me to be a “keeper” of my home and then began making lots of small choices each day to get to that end, there was life and sincere enjoyment in it. When I found His heart in this, it made “keeping” my home clean, organized, and running smoothly so much easier. I began daily seeking Him on what to put my hands to, where to spend my time, and asking Him to teach me faithfulness in all my many tasks. I found that His grace was sufficient. The other way of messy to blitzing is a scary thought to me now. It represents stress and unrest. Despite what anyone tries to tell you there is no peace in procrastination or the “always catching up” kind of living. In our society of humanism, we are fed the lie that there is no right way or wrong way to anything. “Life is about what suits you.” It is even taught among Christians but under the guise of personality bents. Sisters, there is what works in the kingdom of God and what cooperates with His Spirit and there is what does not fit. Instead of defending and justifying “our ways,” let's completely adopt His ways. All of His ways are life, but there is no room for flesh in them.

Rejoice Evermore

The Father wants us to be light-hearted, not complaining, and even thanking Him “in everything,” including the ongoing jobs we have to do in keeping up our homes (1 Thes.5:18). I would like to put a huge exclamation point on this. When God, through the scriptures, commands us to give thanks “in everything,” do you? Do you obey this and make it your practice? Is it just a nice verse to be memorized by little kids or made into a cute song? Or do you believe He has called you to obey this profound command?

Make a big list of all things within the sphere of your home that you are thankful for. Make it as complete as possible. Now, make a different list of what you are not thankful for. For example: old stained carpet, not enough money, the ugly couch in the den, a small house in a busy neighborhood, etc. Like the other list make it as comprehensive as possible. Don't forget areas with your children, your marriage, money, your house, your “chores,” your possessions, time, school, etc. When these lists are complete, write out the scripture, 1 Thessalonians 5:18, on the top of the page above each list: “…in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Now ask yourself: What has Jesus called you to? What is His will? TO GIVE THANKS!!! Go through each thing on your list that you are not thankful for and take it before the Lord. Repent for any complaining, ungratefulness, or discontentment. Then look and see the deeper issues of why you struggle to thank Him for that specific thing. Then embrace that, whatever it is, it is what He has for you. Then thank Him. Truly thank Him. Thank Him because He is at work in you. Thank Him for not leaving you. Thank Him for what He has provided. No matter the trial you can always thank Him. This is a wonderful exercise for everyone in the family. It moves you to obedience and to faith.

Next, write out Philippians 4:4, which says, “… rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say rejoice.” Then write out Psalm 118:24, “This is the day that the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it.” And now do 1 Thessalonians 5:16, “Rejoice evermore.” These are simple truths but mostly overlooked. Write these down or print them out and post them up around your home. Memorize them. Study them. Do whatever you have to do to get them in you, and then live them. He has called us to a life of rejoicing. Rejoice always! Rejoice in this day. Think about a day you have had recently when there were many trials. Did you rejoice or did you complain? Today, have you acknowledged that this is His day, His home, His time, His stuff, His children, His work for you to do, His everything, and then rejoice that you get to be a part of all that is His? You don't even have to find a specific to rejoice about, you can simply rejoice in the opportunities He has before you to refine and to sanctify you. Your opportunity to enter in is right now—dive in!

 

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