Delivering Love
by Maranatha Chapman
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:5-8)
We know love by this, that He laid down His life for us; and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. (1 John 3:16)
Our
Lord Jesus emptied Himself completely in order to deliver His very heart
of love to us, even to the point of bearing our
death sentence by taking on our sin and embracing crucifixion. He has
abundantly poured out on us His love and life
and light. He has "blessed us with every spiritual
blessing in the heavenly places," and has "lavished"
His grace upon us (Eph. 1:3-8). He "never" leaves
us or forsakes us, and He "has granted to us everything
pertaining to life and godliness" (Heb. 13:5-6, 2 Pet. 1:2-3). And we
could cite many more scriptures such as these.
The
point here is that Jesus has loved, and continues to love us wholly.
Everything He does, every expression of His love is wholehearted and fully
delivered. "Greater love has no man than this." (John 15:12-13). There
is nothing timid or half-hearted about Jesus. His love goes beyond human
affection, duty, and "having a commitment," to that "which surpasses knowledge"
(Eph. 3:14-19).
It
is good that we take in and abide in His love always. But this is not
an end in itself. He also wants us to become like Him in how we love too.
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."
(John 13:34-35)
Are you daily endeavoring to follow His example? Do you display and deliver your love to those around you like He has? Loving is not some sideline of the Christian life-it encapsulates the whole of scripture and embodies the greatest two commandments we have been given to us by the Lord (Matt. 22:34-40). It is the very "goal of our instruction" (1 Tim. 1:5). When we read First Corinthians 13, we see that walking in love IS A BIG DEAL-so big, in fact, that Paul amazingly declared that it is "a more excellent way" than even walking in all the spiritual gifts and the functioning of the gifted men that the Lord has appointed in the church, as important as those things are (1 Cor. 12:27-31, 14:1). Loving in a way that corresponds to Him is the very quality of the heart and practice of the bride of Christ.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (Philippians 2:3-4)
What
about these verses? Do you embrace the loftiness of the standard here
or do you dull the point of it by rationalizing that "well it's just an
attitude of the heart" in order to avoid having to apply it in your life?
Have you discovered the Lord's heart in these words and are deepening
in walking out their meaning?
How
can you tell if you are walking in this kind of love? One way is that
when you are out in the world, you are constantly aware of His heart for
all, and His love is displayed through your eyes, your words, your tenderness,
your kindness, your smile, your questions, your interest, your sacrifices,
and your every action. Another way is that you are one that is more than
just "willing" to be poured out for the people of God, but you actually
live out a daily laying down of your life for the saints. You can also
tell that you are walking in that kind of love by people's feedback. When
they think of you they know they are loved-they get it! You know it's
being delivered when they come back for more. They can't get enough; they
want to be close. We are all drawn to love.
This
kind of "Philippians 2:3-4 love" shows up in our homes as our being the
wife that "the heart of her husband safely trusts in her" (Prov. 31:10-12).
Your husband really knows he is loved, he feels it all the times, and
he almost wears an invisibly radiant sign that says "I'm taken care of!"
It also shows up as our being the mama who is absolutely in love with
her children. No matter the cost, lost sleep, financial burden, gained
weight, etc., she is the safest place on earth for her children's hearts.
"They know that they know" that they are loved, and they bear no burden
of guilt for taking it in because you never complain about the sacrifices
your make. You actually have a joy in being burned up for their benefit
and welfare.
Wherever
we are in our life in God, one thing for sure is that He is working in
and through us to deepen our capacity for loving as He loves. Like Paul's
exhortation to the church of the Thessalonians, there is always room for
us "to excel still more" (1 Thes. 4:9-12). I find it helpful to recognize
different aspects of walking in love because I can then be more keenly
aware of areas where I need to grow. Here are four parts I see in loving.
We
must be emptied
In
order to love as Jesus loved, we have to be empty ourselves just as He
emptied Himself (Phil. 2:5-8). To quote my dad, "You can't put something
where something else already is." The love of God cannot fill our heart
when something else is occupying its space. Allow the Lord to expose selfishness,
unforgiveness, pride, fear, worries, cares, lusts, and any other impurities
of the heart. Do whatever it takes to "pluck out" whatever needs to go
and allow Him to do His transforming work in your heart (Matt. 5:29-30).
Because our hearts are deceitful and we, therefore, do not see ourselves
accurately (Jer. 17:9-10), we need to invite the Lord daily: "Lord, purify
me. Lord, expose my hidden motives. Show me where I am selfish."
Also,
be accountable to others-we need each other to help us see our junk. Be
humble and open and receive the needed corrections and admonitions that
Jesus brings through the members of His body, as this is His express provision
for keeping our hearts from being hardened (Heb. 3:12-15). Do you want
more of Him in your life? Do you desire to love, really love, as He loves?
Then be tenacious about putting your flesh to death (Rom. 8:12-14, 13:14).
When we live at this place of being emptied, His pure love can fill our
hearts and what we give will be completely originating from His Spirit.
Considering
one another
As
we are emptying ourselves, the next thing I see is "considering one another"
(Heb. 10:24-25, Phil. 2:3-4). We do this by holding someone in our heart.
It is more than merely "thinking" about them. It is embracing and loving
that person before the Lord. Let me give an example. Let's say that my
husband, Matthew, has been out of town and is now on his way home. In
order to love him fully, I can prepare my heart by first removing anything
yucky in my heart that would get in the way of loving. But then I move
on to considering him. I pray for him, take into account what his needs
might be in getting home from a long trip, think about the things that
bless him, and even ponder afresh all the things about him that I so dearly
love. By the time he gets home, my love for him is overflowing. I have
seen this happen so many times, and, thankfully, instead of him coming
home to a preoccupied, uninterested, or even cold wife, I am ready to
pour out my love on him.
We
think that sometimes we can go hurriedly through life but then abruptly
stop at strategic moments and love each other as Jesus loves us. What
we are really doing is fulfilling our duty and our set of "supposed to's,"
and doing so in our spare moments or in the minimal amount of time we
think will "do the trick." Gross! Would you want to be "loved" as someone's
afterthought or as part of someone's chores or checklist? Loving as Jesus
loves doesn't work that way. It takes grace-empowered effort on our part,
and part of that effort is focused in giving unhurried, thoughtful consideration
to one another.
Considering
others enlarges our hearts and focuses on them. As we learn to live considering
others all the time, there is no dwelling on ourselves and our own interests
and trying to get our own need met (1 Cor. 13:5). "Me, me, me" quickly
fades away and genuinely loving others becomes primary. If you live focused
on yourself or on life's busyness, or even if you are just kind of dead
inside and "nobody's home," it will take a while to train yourself (acquire
the capacity) to continually be aware of the needs of others, to constantly
be considering how to love, and, for the sake of others, to look for "their
proper food at the proper time" (1 Pet. 1:22, Heb. 10:24, Matt. 24:45-51,
Eph. 4:29). Be encouraged. I have seen people who have gone from being
completely self-absorbed and unloving to become delightful saints who
pour out, who are always being burned up, who walk full of faith and love,
who have a timely word of encouragement around every turn, who have eyes
that look straight into yours and declare that you are loved by the Father.
Living
vulnerably
If
we are going to love as Jesus loves, we must cultivate living vulnerably
all the time. No walls. No thick layers of self-protective fortifications
that keep you pulled in and hidden away. He has called us to enter His
kingdom as children (Matt. 18:3-4). He has
called us to a life of letting go and walking in full abandonment to His
Spirit, not caring what others think or say or do. How did Jesus live?
Did He pridefully sit above others, analyzing them or haughtily looking
down upon them? Was He emotionally detached from people, ever keeping
them at arm's length? No! He was fully there, always loving, always pouring
out, and completely touchable. This is yet another area where we need
to be "transformed into His image" (Rom. 8:29, 2 Cor. 3:18).
If
you are someone who strives to maintain a reputation of "always having
it together," of if you are someone who is quite reserved, or, for whatever
reason, you are one who doesn't live vulnerably with your heart always
open and fully available, then there is no way you can really love. If
relationships scare you because you have been burned or because you fear
allowing others to really see your heart, then humble yourself, cry out
to the Lord, and do whatever it takes to pull the walls down. Love cannot
flow out through fortress walls.
Delivering
love
I
hope that you can see that emptying yourself, considering others, and
living vulnerably are places we must come from in our heart if we are
to love as Jesus loves. If you feel like you are at "square one," begin
practicing these things with those closest to you-your husband, your children,
and the saints you relate to the most-and then learn to so walk in every
facet of life. As you do these things, the delivery of His love is as
simple as opening your mouth and speaking, or giving that hug, or serving
with your hands, or doing whatever rightly expresses the love of God that
is filling your heart. If your heart is wholly behind these actions then
real love is truly conveyed. It will be warm and so blatantly sincere,
not detached. It will very obviously be a heart thing and not a cranial
head thing. It will come over as the joy that it is, not as a duty fulfilled.
I guarantee you that the love being expressed through your body language,
eye contact, tone of voice, and overall expression will be genuine and
very evident, and your love-His love-will be fully given and delivered.
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